Hidden Faces #6*77*77=41,503: The Actual Return

"The Return is here! Or is it the Hidden Face... I don't know! Who CARES! We're back! (Officially) And boy are we back with A-VENGENCE!"

COME ONE COME ALL TO... THE RETURN OF HIDDEN FACES! MUTHA FUGGA'S!

Yeeeah, that's right. We be representin' that whole east-side-west-side-north-side-south-side shiznat with our tripped out gangsta' spizzle todayizzle! Or at least I be the made tripped out foo' who do.

Zero: Ladies and Gentleman, please exscuse my counterpart. He's a little high.

ON LIFE, FOO'!

Zero: Regardless.

Shiiiite, son. Shut yo' trap. Why you frontin' b'? Huh? Why you gotta be up in my grill? Shiiite.

*Zero hits Paladin with a two by four*

Zero: Sadly, I didn't have a grill to hit you with, but this did the trick.

Ow. That really hurt, you a-hole. *ahem* Now where were we... ah yes! What's been happening while you were away!

Well, since I couldn't post these wonderful (Zero: *cough*god-awful*cough*) article (Zero: *cough*pieces of crap*cough*) here on Evabeast (Zero: *cough*more like Suckabeast*cough*), I became rather bored... So I took up leaving the Temple! Can you believe there's a world outside of the temple! I couldn't!

Zero: Let me finish this story. He went to the local town inside of Bloom County, Eulalia. There, he found a nice piece of ass, and got some great pussay. The end!

HEY! *cries* That was my first piece of ass in 6 years... I wanted it to be proud.

Zero: What I can't figure out... is why does she have to live here with us?

She lives here?

Lindsey: HIYA PALADIN HONEY! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! What are you doing here!?

Lindsey: I'm supposed to be with my dreammate... which is you honey bunches!

WHAT KIND OF PSYCHO HOSE-BEAST ARE YOU!? I never even brought you here... We fucking fucked in a fucking piece of shit hotel! How... or better yet... WHY did you follow me!?

Lindsey: I am Lindsey the Wanderer, you silly. The person who makes love to me is destined to marry me!

I DIDN'T MAKE LOVE TO YOU IN ANY SENSE OF THE WORD! Or phrase in this case... I mean shit! All we did was you know... Let's see here... what did we do...

Well, first you sucked me off..

Then I ate you out...

Then we did some doggie-style..

I'm trying to remember if we did some anal... Ah, who can I kid. We did.

Lindsey: What we did isn't the point, silly! You are destined to join me on my quest to discover the difference between the Han, the ethnic Chinese, and the nomadic barbaric villager pillager people of the north!

Girl... WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKIN' 'BOUT!?

Zero: ... Paladin, if I may say so... you picked a real winner.

Lindsey: You're one to talk Zero, you weren't complaining when I found a rose for you to stick up your dick! Nor when I let you eat it!

Zero: Uh... No... I didn't.. . No... Uh... Shit... Uh....

You are one sick fuck, you know that Zero. One sick fuck. Ahh shit... I gotta get the e-mails started... Uh, Lindsey?

Lindsey: Yes my light in a dark tunnel. My hope on a hopeless day.

Stop talking like that for one. Secondly, I'll find a room for ya' here somewhere in the temple. We got plenty of rooms. Now, let's get those e-mails crackin'!

The first e-mail(s) are from Scott Parth or Scott Paeth. I'm not sure, he either spelt his name wrong once, or he's one tricky little fucker.

WEEEEELLLLLLL Thank you Scott. I love to receive compliments... BUT CRITICISMS I DO NOT ACCEPT!!!! BURN IN HELL!!!!

*ahem* Well now, let's go to the next e-mail shall we. These are actually three e-mails compiled into one, just incase you were wondering.

*blinks* Well, I'm just glad to know I have an enemy, firstly.

Zero: YOU SON OF A BITCH! HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID! IT'S MARIJUANA! AND OPIUM! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! SHOOT YOURSELF NOW!

Down Zero, down.

So you were the sick little fucker sending anthrax to everyone in the e-mail? Shit son. I thought that shiznat was coke. I was snortin' that stuff like mad... Might explain why my nose is the size of an orange...

Zero: It is... it's really weird lookin'...

And wait a minute, son! Are you dissin' on Snoopy!

WHAT THE HELL DID SNOOPY EVER DO TO YOU!? HUH!?

And thanks for the heads up on the Regis being victorious and all. That'll be helpful in the future when I need to figure out what leader's dick to suck.

I mean... I did not have sexual relations with that president... Mr. Clinton.

NEXT E-MAIL!

Now that you know my name, I Bahamut, supreme serpent lord, son of Cypher the Fallen, rommie of Xela the annoying, and Valcore the Kitten Eating Mammer, have a question for you; Have you ever been sued? I\'m a lawyer for your mortal species, oh yes, and for Xela, and Valcore...
Bahamut, Dragon, lawyer, and Bloom Clounty/HF fan, Bye for now. P.S.: Please do not tell Xela, or let him know that I am usinghis scren name, thanks.

Now that you know my name, I, Paladin, Supreme Twinkie Monk, son of Cheech the High, Body-Sharer of Zero the Cynic and roomie (not rommie) of Lindsey, the wandering penis sucker-offer, has an answer to your question! YES! I have been sued!

Maybe not for Hidden Faces, but hey... She said yes... It was consensual... I mean... How was I supposed to know she wasn't eighteen! I mean.... No.

Oh, and Xela... A little heads up... Your roommate's on your ScreenName. Just incase you were wondering.

NEXT E-MAIL!

i am zeelas rooomy i get zeelas inernett pasword from ba-ha-mutt o no ZEELA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EULALIA!!!!!!!!!!!

THARE I SKARE ZEELA AWWAE IGET BAAMUTT TO TIPE FTOR ME

O.K., CAPS-LOCK off,there good. Now while Xela (\"zeela\" as previously mentioned)is away, Valcore just wanted to fit in. So, there, by the way he wants to know what \"spooge\" is, you explain.

Valcore,and Bahamut

Valcore... before you learn how to type, you might wanna LEARN HOW TO FREAKIN' SPELL!

And Valcore... Why you gotta be a conformer? What's wrong? Afraid of being different? Just had to send me an e-mail like everyone else? If everyone else was gang-banging an eighty-year old whore with every single STD in the world on her FINGERNAIL, let alone her pussay, would you join in?

But... *oye* I see I must explain what spooge is to you, huh? All right, let's get started.

Well... When a Man loves a woman, or in some special cases his hand.... No that's not it... you see, he has this thing in his pants called a WANG. When the WANG gets massive, not as massive as mine however, it fills with blood. After some stroking or sucking... Here, let these picture illustrate.

So in otherwords, spooge is what comes out of your wang when you stroke it. Or get it sucked.

Zero: Neither of which I think will happen to you.

To who? Me or Valcore?

Zero: Both.

Well, viewers/readers... I must be on my way... I need to find a room for Lindsey, and then...

WE'RE GONNA FUCK LIKE BUNNIES!!!

.::the Paladinmeister::.

P.S.

Gigantor: HI EVERYBODY!!!!!

Please send Paladin a few lines with comments about him or his writings!

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